share this around, it could save lives
I had everything I wanted I had the perfect person I had what I wanted but I wanted to b stupid and bitchy and push the best thing away. Now what do I have to show an empty apartment, days crying, stupid school, and days where I lie to myself that I’m fine and happy when I’m not. There’s so many memories good and bad I wouldn’t trade any of them I learned so much about me and you and I would never change that. I just wish I was still in ur life cause seriously u cross my mind so much everyday and still in my dreams and first thing I think in the morn and last thing at night and I feel so pathetic cause u moved on and I’m still here stuck. Stuck on u stuck on still thinking some how I will end up with u. But truth is I know u probably don’t even think about me anymore or care anymore like I’m pathetic for caring. You probably moved on to someone better and I’m here the alone pathetic ex that probably won’t b anything more than that to you. I’m here regretting letting u go regretting walking out cause all I wanted was to b reassured u would go after me but I knew u and I knew that would make u mad but I still wanted u to go after me I knew that was either going to make me happy that u would go after me or burn that bridge and it was what I didn’t want. I’m so stupid like I had everything and I pushed for something stupid for u to go after me but I still don’t see why u couldn’t say who u would b with like that’s a lie that’s a secret and I thought at that point we were over that like if u would have said I wouldn’t have been mad I just wanted to b trusted I wanted to b in the loop all I wanted was to know u were safe and me pushing to know things pushed u away I’m so stupid
I seriously feel like something is wrong with me. How is it this hard to make friends and have nice people in ur life that will stay. I’m glad I have my group in jax idk what I would do without them and my family. Seriously I try and like I feel like so many people walk out of my life it makes me think something is wrong with me and I hate it.
Why fake a smile be real about it